The basic rule in etiquette is to be gracious and respectful. If I am a guest in a  home and unconsciously notice that the table is set incorrectly, obviously the gracious thing to do is to do or say nothing.  It’s just like the dentist meeting someone and noticing their teeth or the landscaper noticing a yard that’s unattended.  It’s not a conscious thing they are doing.  That’s their business.  Since I teach dining skills,  I do notice the table setting.  It’s just an automatic thing.  I am never judging the person at all.  I would  never say or do anything in this situation.  The last thing I would want to do is insult my host.  Remember having etiquette is about being respectful.

Teaching your children how to set the table is a great lesson and can be a fun one.  This is a skill I teach in my classes, and the children really enjoy learning this.

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

Check your appearance.  Make sure your clothes are pressed and clean.  Check your personal hygiene.  Be sure to check your breath.  You don’t want to knock your date over with bad breath!  Instead, knock him/her over with looking the best that you can.  Watch the perfume and cologne.  Don’t go overboard with the good smelling fragrances.  Comb the hair, tuck in the shirt tail, and polish the shoes .  Now put on a great smile and have fun.

Meet the parents.  Whether you are nervous or not, you want to make a good impression on your date and the parents.  When meeting the parents shake their hands and look them in the eye while introducing yourself.  When leaving, tell them it was nice to meet them.  Young men remember  to hold the door for your date while leaving the house and while getting into the car.  Your date will be impressed with your  manners.

Eating at the restaurant.  You want to remember that you are trying to make a good impression.  Remember to chew with your mouth closed, don’t talk with food in your mouth,  no burping, don’t put your face in your plate and shovel your food in like it’s your last meal, put your napkin in your lap, don’t use a toothpick, and young men please hold the chair for your date.   This is your time  to shine with your date and friends.

Remember to thank your chaperons for giving of their time to make prom night possible.  It takes a lot of community effort to host prom.  People appreciate it when their efforts are recognized.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

Recently, my younger son asked me a dining question.  He had been to a fine restaurant and wanted to know what he was supposed to do with his napkin when he excused himself to visit the men’s room.  He said he put his napkin on the table of the left side of the plate not on top of any silverware.  There was a discussion about this at the table, and no one was really sure what was correct.  In my classes, I teach putting the napkin exactly where he did.  I don’t  recommend putting it on the chair.  One of the uses of that napkin is to wipe your mouth.  You don’t know how clean the seat of that chair is.   What you don’t know is that workmen could have been standing in the chair that afternoon doing some cleaning.  So, I think it’s better just to lay the napkin to the left of the plate.

I receive a lot of questions from young adults who are now in the finer dating stage of their life.  It’s not always pizza and beer or that fabulous burger with homemade fries.  They are wanting to experience something different and impress their date with a fine dining experience.  Another question I have been asked is where  does the female sit?  Is she seated to your left of to your right?  The lady is always seated to a man’s right.

As  I mentioned in the article What Would You Do,  start from the outside when choosing utensils and work your way in with each course.  What about placement of your utensils while eating?  There are two styles of dining Continental and American (Zig Zag).  Both of these styles involve different placement of the utensils while eating.  I will devote an article  on this another time as it is quite involved.  However, one thing you should not do is put your knife on the table after using it.   Once a utensil has been used, there is a proper place for it.

Just another quick tip for your dining etiquette.  What do you do when the butter dish is passed?  You  take a pat of butter from the butter dish,  put it on your bread and butter plate, break a piece of bread, and then spread this with butter.  You don’t butter the roll or piece of bread all at one time. These are just a few quick tips to keep in mind when dining.  If your put these into practice,  you will feel more confidant in your dining experiences.

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

Those of you that have seen the movie Pretty Woman remember a similar scene such as this one.  Julia Roberts is at an upscale restaurant and says”that’s the fork I know”, and she asks “where’s the salad?”.  She was thrown a curve ball on the order of courses.   She wasn’t sure which fork was to be used next.  None of us want to be in a  social situation and be faced with the unknown. Let’s get back to the  luncheon story.  The person telling me this said that she used the dinner fork while several people chose the salad fork.  This lady looked around the table and began doubting her choice of forks. However, she stayed with her initial choice . The next course was dessert.  Several of the ladies exclaimed,”Oh my.  I’ve already used my dessert fork with the salad!”     Would you know what to do?  Which fork would you have chosen and why?  What is the rule of thumb on the placement of the silverware?

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

Continential Resting Postition

Recently, I had the good fortune of  being part of a family cruise.  It truly was a wonderful trip full of relaxation, good food, exciting ports of call and excursions, and wonderful family time.  I was really spoiled!  I could choose most anything for all my meals and eat as much as I dared to do.  A special treat was dining in the reservation only dining room.  Here the ship boasts of impeccable service, lovely fine china, and delicious food.  We engaged in an interesting conversation with our waiter who was from  Bali.  It was fascinating to hear about his country and its customs.

Zig Zag Resting Postion

We visited five different islands on this trip, and each was unique.  The excursions which we took gave us an insight into these new places and the people who live there and their culture.  It was very informative to observe some of  their customs and  protocol.  One thing that was of particular interest to me was a difference in dining styles.  The United States is practically the only country that uses American style or Zig Zag  style when dining.  Most everyone else uses continental style.  Remembering and practicing the old saying,  ”When in Rome, do as the Romans do” comes in handy when traveling.

The trip was wonderful, and I have many great memories and pictures of it!

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

The night of the special dinner for my daughter was enlightening experience.  One of the guests was  quite loud and demanding of the waitstaff.  At one point, he was pointing at another guest in the restaurant making loud uncomplimentary remarks. A side note here – this behavior was not due to adult beverages. People at tables close to us were staring.  I was very embarrassed as was my daughter.  When the young man kept demanding something from the waitstaff, it created a very tense situation.  There was very little respect being shown to this waitperson who was giving us very good service.

In my etiquette classes, I teach my students to try different foods and how to handle something that you  may not be particularly fond of that is served.  That night a scene was caused when I ordered an appetizer that seemed to be distasteful to one of the  couples at our table.  This couple was older and you would assume that they would know how to act.  They didn’t.  They proceeded to make all sorts of inappropriate comments about the dish I had ordered and carried it so far that they were almost gagging at the table!  At this point, I  honestly was mortified that someone that age would behave in this manner.  Here again, people at the table behind us were staring as if they could not believe what was happening.  The couple at the table behind us were there to have a peaceful dining experience and because of the actions of the people at my table, they were not allowed to do this.

Part of having good etiquette and manners is being gracious.  It is not acceptable to point out to someone how inappropriate their manners are.  You lead and teach by example.  If someone asks you what is the correct or polite way to handle a situation, tell them.  They have asked you and obviously want to know.  If you belittle someone by telling them that their manners are atrocious, you are not displaying good  etiquette.

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

When I use the word fencing, I’m not referring to the sport or what you have in the back yard.  This is a term used in dining skills.  I just had a reader ask me a great question.  She asked me what is the proper way to eat peas.  We have all experienced frustration when we are eating peas or rice.  We want that last bite, but how do you gracefully get the peas from your plate into your mouth?

I teach this in my classes and serve peas in this session to demonstrate.  The first thing you want to do is to turn your plate with the peas or rice facing you.  Take the knife in your left hand with the blade down on the plate.  You then use your fork which is in your right hand (assuming you are right handed), and you push the food against the knife and onto your fork.  The blade of the knife serves as a barrier.  One point to remember is not to rest the knife in this position when fencing.  For those of you who do not know what I mean by resting, I will write about that in another article.  Keep holding the knife while fencing.

Try this and see how easy eating those peas and rice is when you hold the knife in a fence position.  The knife like the fork and spoon serve different purposes depending on the food we are eating.  Fencing is just one of the ways a knife can be  used.  I hope this was helpful and answered the question.

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

1.  No slurping of the soup.  This is a very irritating habit some people have.

2.  No blowing your soup to cool it down.  You and/or your table companions may end up with soup all over you/them.

3.  Don’t put your face in the bowl.  Sit up straight when eating soup.

4.  No shoveling the soup into your mouth.  You aren’t eating at a trough,  and this leads to your face being down in the bowl.

5.  Don’t scrape your spoon in the bowl.

6.  Don’t tilt your bowl to get that last little bite of soup.  You just have to leave it.

7.  After you have dipped your spoon in the soup, don’t bring the spoon forward to you.

8.  Don’t drip soup from your spoon.  This could easily make a mess.

9.  No sipping.  Put the spoon into your mouth.

10. When finished eating the soup, don’t leave the spoon in the bowl.

I hope this is helpful the next time you have soup.   This is about eating properly and keeping you from ending up with a messy situation while eating soup.

Bon Appetite!

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

I don’t remember where we were dining when they were served their first sorbet. However, I still remember the look on each of their faces.  The expressions said,  ”Wow!  We get dessert, and we didn’t even have to eat all of our meal!”  They were fascinated with the small scoop of  this icy sweet concoction in the dish.  Well, we had a fun lesson right then.  We explained that this wasn’t dessert but was sorbet.

The definition of sorbet according to Wikipedia is:  frozen dessert made from sweetened water flavored with iced fruit, chocolate, wine, and/or liqueur. Also according to Wikipedia the origin of sorbet is traced to the Middle Eastern drink charbet which is fruit juice and water.   The term sherbet derived from Turkish. Sorbet, which in turn comes from the Arabic sharbat meaning drinks or juice.

I told the children that sorbet is served between courses in order to cleanse the palette.  This would prepare the taste buds for the main course.  Often, sorbet is served after a fish course has been served. You will discover while dining in various fine restaurants that sorbet isn’t always served.  It  depends on the dining establishment.  To be etiquette savvy, you want to know what sorbet is, and why it is being served.  I have dined  with some adults that didn’t have a clue what the icy sweet dish was or why it was being served.  Some made loud remarks as to the small amount they were given, and some proceeded to eat the scoop in one bite licking their lips ready for more.  When eating sorbet, you may eat one bite or enjoy the entire scoop.

After my children’s first encounter with sorbet, they were ready to venture out to more fine dining restaurants in hopes of being served sorbet.  It was worth all the effort of dressing up, experiencing new foods, and sitting at the table longer when they  took a bite of that wonderful icy sweet sorbet.  Their secret hope was that maybe one time the size of the scoop would be the size of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream cone!

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com

I heard later after I had returned home that all the family went out to dinner.  The young girls were very proud to show off some of their new manners.  To their delight, they reminded their great papa that his elbows were on the table.   They told him that there’s only one time when it is permissible to place ones  elbows on the table.  Apparently, this happened a couple of times.  Their great papa said he was going to call me and tell me that they had learned enough because he was getting into way too much trouble with the girls!  Of course, he was kidding and was  quite pleased that they had learned some new manners. 

It is never too early to begin teaching our young people manners.  Their minds are very open and receptive to learning new things.  They enjoy this especially when it’s done in a fun way.  It is good to practice a new skill as it takes twenty one days to start a new pattern, 100 days for it to become automatic, and only thirty days to forget the new  skill.

Questions or comments are always appreciated.

Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell

http://etiquette-blog.com