When was the last time someone held the door open for you? When was the last time someone held the dinner chair for you? Have you called a person’s phone only to have it answered by a child who then screams into the phone for their parent to answer? How many 
responses did you get to the last invitation you sent? I’m sure that you have noticed and felt the laxity in our society’s manners. Yes, our society is more casual than our parents’ time. Some of that is alright. What isn’t acceptable is having poor manners. As you will recall from one of my previous topics, manners and etiquette are based on respect. Having good manners is all about being respectful.
As you have observed from my comments above, I’m talking about just using everyday manners. I like it when the door is held for me, when the car door is opened for me, and when my chair is pulled out for me at the dinner table. It shows respect for me. The person demonstrating these manners distinguishes himself from others. In my parents’ era, it was the norm for the man to open a door for a woman. Today, it is permissible for this not to be gender oriented. Women can and do open doors for men and especially in the business world. It’s an act of kindness and respect.
Take time and think about a situation where maybe you didn’t use your manners as you should have done. We have all done this at one time or another including myself. Manners need to be used at home and when we go 
out in public. I ask myself if I answer the phone abruptly and speak in an irritated voice? Was I in a rush and didn’t wait to hold the door for the other person coming behind me? Did I constantly interrupt the conversation at the last dinner I attended? Did I remember to respond to an invitation? All these things matter. If some one thinks enough of us to invite us to a function, we need to remember to respond to the invitation. Show courtesy when engaging in conversation. Show courtesy and wait a second and hold that door for the person behind you. Use a pleasant voice when using the telephone. I’ll write about telephone etiquette in another topic.
We all need to use our manners. I’m willing to bet you will notice a difference in the way a person responds to you when you remember your manners. I know I do. You know how you feel when someone uses their best manners towards you. It’s a good feeling.
Questions or comments are always appreciated.
Ginny Brown
The Etiquette School of Northeast Georgia
Hoschton, Georgia (Hamilton Mill area, Dacula, GA)
Email Ginny Brown
678-889-4814 office
770-296-4159 cell
on Aug 18th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Ms Brown,
What a delight to stumble upon your site. Your blog is a concise and sensed summary of what good manners and etiquette is all about.
I am as well in the field of etiquette in Italy and what I emphsize most is kindness and respect towards others, especially our hosts whether at home or in a restaurant.
I have read through your “embarassing dinner” you had organized for your daughter and I know that these things do happen and unfortunetly the polite and sensible person is the most affected and uncomfortable.
Picking up a wrong fork will not catagorize one as a rude person, but strong and unpleasant remarks surely will.
As courtesy seems to be fading away we should try our best to keep it bright and lively everyday.
I look foward to new posts,
Eleonora Tortorici Marchioness of Montaperto